What if someone seems to be a bad fit for our particular group?

Not every group will be the right fit for every person—and that’s okay. God’s love is big enough to meet people where they are, even if one group isn’t the perfect match. Sometimes personalities, life stages, or schedules just don’t line up in a way that makes a particular group ideal.

As a leader, here’s how you can respond with both grace and gospel-centered care:

Lead with welcome. Include them fully and help them feel valued. Everyone is created in God’s image and invited into community, even if it takes a little time to find the right fit.

Discern with prayer. Ask God for wisdom. Sometimes a group needs a little patience, and sometimes another group will help them grow more fully in Christ.

Have an honest, loving conversation. If it seems clear the group isn’t a good match, meet one-on-one. Affirm their desire for community and remind them of God’s love, then gently suggest another group where they might thrive spiritually.

Point to Christ and His church. Encourage them that the goal isn’t just social comfort—it’s growing in Christ and walking in fellowship with other believers. Help them find a group where they can experience both.

Remember, your role isn’t to make every person fit perfectly—it’s to shepherd those God entrusts to you while guiding each person toward the fullness of life in Christ.

What do I do if someone shares something deeply personal/heavy?

First, thank them for trusting the group. You don’t need to fix the situation or have all the answers—listening well and praying together is often the best response.

If the person needs more support than the group can provide, gently encourage them toward a pastor, counselor, or trusted resource. Remember, your role is to create safety and point people toward God, not to carry their burdens alone.

There’s someone in my group who typically dominates the conversation. What should I do?

Almost every group has at least one person who tends to talk more than others. While it usually comes from good intentions, it can unintentionally keep others from sharing.

Here are some ways to handle it with both grace and clarity:

Set expectations up front. Remind the whole group of your “sharing norms”—everyone gets a chance, no one should feel pressured, and we make space for all voices.

Redirect gently. After they’ve shared, thank them and then pivot: “That’s a helpful thought. Let’s hear from someone who hasn’t shared yet.”

Use group structure. Break into pairs or smaller groups for discussion sometimes. This makes it harder for one person to dominate and gives quieter people space.

Follow up privately if needed. If it continues, a kind one-on-one conversation can go a long way. Affirm their contributions, but let them know you also want to make room for others.

Pray for wisdom. Ask God to help you lead with both kindness and firmness—keeping the group safe and balanced for everyone.

Your goal isn’t to shut the person down, but to help the whole group experience the gift of shared conversation.

People sometimes come and then stop or show up here and there. How can I better the chances that they’ll stick around?

The truth is, most people don’t stay connected to a group just because of the content. They stick when they feel seen, valued, and like they belong.

A few practical things that often make a difference:

Follow up personally. A quick text, call, or message after someone visits can mean a lot. It shows them you noticed and cared.

Help them connect quickly. Give new people an easy way to participate (sharing their story, helping with something simple, being asked their thoughts). When people contribute, they feel more invested.

Create consistency and clarity. If the group has a clear rhythm and purpose, it’s easier for people to decide, “This is a place I want to commit to.”

Pray for them. This isn’t just spiritual “icing on the cake”—God often works in unseen ways to draw people into community.

At the end of the day, not everyone who visits will stay. That’s okay. But by intentionally creating an atmosphere of warmth, care, and belonging, you’re making it much easier for people to want to return and grow together.

Leaders, what do you think?

How to get more people to join my group?

The single best way to grow your group is through personal invitation. Think about it—when someone sees your face and hears, “I’d love for you to come,” it’s the warmest invitation they can get.

Here are a few other ways to help people find their way into your group:

Pray first. Ask God who He wants in your group, and pray for opportunities to invite them. Often, He’ll bring people to mind or across your path.

Offer something tangible. Hand out simple invite cards with your group’s time, place, and contact info so people don’t forget. Notice your “church neighbors.” The people who sit near you on Sundays probably do so regularly—why not invite them to take a next step with you?

Multiply the invites. Encourage your group members to invite friends too. It’s easier to say “yes” when you already know someone who will be there.

Keep info fresh. Make sure your group details are updated on the website and communicated when you start something new.

Remember—filling your group may stretch you outside your comfort zone, but that’s often exactly how God grows us as leaders. Don’t shortcut His work by waiting for people to just show up—step out, invite boldly, and trust Him with the results.

Leaders, what do you think?

How can I build in prayer and spiritual formation into my group's experience?

Building prayer and spiritual formation into your group doesn’t have to be complicated or intimidating. A few simple practices can create space for God to shape people’s hearts:

Start and end with prayer. Even a brief prayer at the beginning and end helps remind everyone that God is at the center of your time together.Share prayer requests and ask each member to pray for another.

Start your group off by listening to a worship song - a great way to enter this time together and leave all the other worries behind.

Invite participation. Ask different people to pray each week, or give space for short, one-sentence prayers. This helps everyone grow more comfortable.

Use Scripture as a guide. Reading a short passage and asking, “What stands out to you? What might God be saying to us?” is a natural way to invite spiritual reflection.

Practice spiritual rhythms together. Try a simple exercise once in a while—like a few minutes of silence, a gratitude round, or praying for one another in pairs.

Weaving spiritual practices into your regular rhythm will make them part of the group’s DNA.

Over time, these small steps create a culture where people expect to encounter God together—not just share conversation.

Leaders, what do you think?

How can I make sure we keep things confidential and/or avoid unnecessary topics?

How can I make sure we keep things confidential and avoid unnecessary topics?

One of the best ways to create safety in a group is by setting clear expectations from the start. Establishing group norms not only protects confidentiality but also helps everyone relax and engage more openly.

You might consider beginning each session with a reminder like this:

“As we begin, let’s remember the promises we make to one another:”

  • We listen well and speak with kindness and respect—no put-downs, judgment, or gossip.
  • What’s shared here stays here.
  • We give grace for our differences and focus on what unites us.
  • We make space so everyone has a chance to share.
  • Everyone is welcome to speak, and no one is pressured. This is a safe space.

Repeating these simple norms regularly sets the tone and helps people feel confident their words will be honored.

Leaders, how do you remind your group that confidentiality and respect matter?

Leaders, what do you think?

How can I keep the discussion on track?

It’s a balance, isn’t it? We want people to feel free to share, but we also want the conversation to stay meaningful and focused. Here are a few things that can help:

Affirm and redirect. A simple phrase like, “Great point—thanks for sharing. Let’s hear what others think about [topic],” both honors the person and gently guides things back.

Set expectations early. Let the group know it’s everyone’s job to help stay on topic. That way, if you need to redirect, it feels like part of the group’s rhythm rather than just you cutting someone off.

Use signals with humor. Some leaders even create lighthearted cues (like tugging on an ear) to show it’s time to wrap up. When it’s playful, people don’t take offense.

Keep the bigger goal in mind. It’s not about policing conversation but about creating space where everyone can participate and grow together.

Every group is different, so experiment and see what feels natural for your personality and your people.

What strategies have worked for you when a discussion starts to wander?

I often wonder how much talking I should do as the leader compared to the members. What’s a good balance?

A helpful rule of thumb is that the leader should talk less than 25% of the time during discussion. Your role isn’t to fill the silence or give all the answers—it’s to guide the conversation so others can discover and share.

A few tips to help strike the right balance:

Embrace silence. Don’t rush to fill the quiet moments. Give space—silence often nudges people to speak up.

Use nonverbal encouragement. A smile, a nod, or even glancing down at your Bible or notes signals that you’re waiting and listening.

Ask open-ended questions. Instead of yes/no questions, ask, “What stands out to you?” or “How have you experienced this?” This draws people in.

Resist the urge to teach. Save long explanations for sermons or classes. In groups, your job is to create space for discovery and sharing.

When you speak less, you invite others to speak more—and that’s when real growth and connection happen.