I often wonder how much talking I should do as the leader compared to the members. What’s a good balance?

A helpful rule of thumb is that the leader should talk less than 25% of the time during discussion. Your role isn’t to fill the silence or give all the answers—it’s to guide the conversation so others can discover and share.

A few tips to help strike the right balance:

Embrace silence. Don’t rush to fill the quiet moments. Give space—silence often nudges people to speak up.

Use nonverbal encouragement. A smile, a nod, or even glancing down at your Bible or notes signals that you’re waiting and listening.

Ask open-ended questions. Instead of yes/no questions, ask, “What stands out to you?” or “How have you experienced this?” This draws people in.

Resist the urge to teach. Save long explanations for sermons or classes. In groups, your job is to create space for discovery and sharing.

When you speak less, you invite others to speak more—and that’s when real growth and connection happen.